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SOTA Wind Ensemble- A Dissenting View

Elsewhere in this space, the piano skills of Liz Dorman were discussed by the always-canny Paul Igaz. Dorman's skills were truly extraordinary. I wish I could say the same for the Wind Ensemble Concert played by the School of the Arts Wind Ensemble. You may be wondering: why here? Why now? The fact is that I just read Jeannie Psomas's lauditory review of that concert and was struck dumb. Why must you lie, Jeannie?
Here's how it really happened.

The night opened most distressingly: Mr. Steven Hendee, conductor for the SOTA group, fell off the stage before o­ne note had been struck. He toppled o­nto the floor, crushing several students who were carried away to the hospital minutes later. Everyone was understandably flabbergasted at this turn of events, but the attention was quickly focused back o­n the concert. After Mr. Hendee had gotten back o­n stage, the program began.

I must tell you something about this concert: Ms. Psomas has decieved you all. She would have you believe that a varied and tuneful set of compositions was played. She is lying. The tunes played were "Mary Had A Little Lamb," "You Are My Sunshine," and an original composition by Mr. Hendee, "Why Oh Lord Oh Why." You would think that such a simple repertoire would be difficult to mess up, but SOTA proved it knows no bounds or depths to which it can sink. The first notes of "Lamb" were played off-key, and Mr. Hendee cried out, "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We take that back! We'll start over!" It took 4 tries for the wretched clarinetist to get the tune right. What followed sounded as though cats had decided to scratch blackboards while howling.

"Sunshine" is not a complex piece, but our Ms. Psomas was most daunted by it. She had a five-note solo in the middle. At least she was supposed to. However, when her time came, she froze. She blew a horrible note. She froze again. She scratched nher head. She played another note- not the right o­ne. Finally, a half-bald (from tearing his hair out so much) Mr. Hendee went over, took the clarinet from Jeannie and played the notes himself.They were the best-sounding notes of the evening and recieved a thunderous, twelve-minute standing ovation from the weary audience.
"Why God Why" turned out to be a slam poetry sampling from Steven Hendee. The poetry consisted of several raps about music. Needless to say, no o­ne was charmed. Sample line: "I'm eating cereal in my bed/I've also got a lot of bread/ by that I mean the actual food/ not the term for money, dude." Then he commenced vulgarly criticizing the government.

What followed his piece was a stunned silence, punctuated by several people's sobs. The curtian fell and there was a massive stampede to get away, far, far, far away from the travesty that transpired in the Theater.

And that is what ACTUALLY happened. None of the participants were at school the next day, possibly out of shame.

Jeannie says: Yup it's the truth I'm so sorry everyone I'm going to go cry now....

Added:  Sunday, November 02, 2003
Reviewer:  Pirate Joe
Score:
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Language: eng