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| Days in Music
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Somber Euphoria
Posted by: Jiyang on Saturday, April 10, 2004 - 10:03 PM |
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Somber Euphoria
By Jiyang Chen
At what point do you draw the line where the mechanical order of everyday existence ends when creativity and artistry originate? The endeavors of mankind stretch wide and far, and none are as spectacular and mysterious as the art of music making, and the successful interpretations and definitions that have accompanied this poetic medium extend to the soul and essence of our emotions and passions. Music can impart in us a feeling of melancholy and sorrow, rapture and euphoria. Many have studied the classical instruments through lessons and tutoring, but few have the perseverance and willpower to continue seriously in the analytical and technical studies of music and instrument to appoint this as their vocation of preference. Thus begins my story of my experiences of hardship, boredom, and accomplishments with the piano.I started the piano at a little under age four in China. I played on a Pearl River upright that my grand parents bought for me that sounded like a disembodied, soulless living thing that had contradictory voices challenging every note I played. Practicing exercised my frustration - attempting to get all the notes correctly with a strict parent next to me for two hours a day was paralleled torture. Playing over and over again to get the correct notes and proper hand movements led to an experience of hair pulling, wrist cutting, self stabbing, eye gouging frustration These frustrations were attackers that assailed my mind like torpedoes attacking a ship in an array of constant bombardments of anger and wrath. Parents in China labored their kids to study classical instruments in hopes of achieving a hardworking and diligent child. My parents never hoped for me to study piano seriously as an adult, for they only wished to bring up a child with worthy study habits and perseverance. For years I labored through endless Czerny exercises and scales, which I later learned to appreciate, since these compositions of perpetual motion had developed basic technique needed for later and more advanced pieces requiring more than just "chops". With the exception of an occasional piece of Bach, I played mostly exercises and etudes that stressed redundancy and strict finger movements. These four years contained misery and boredom, which at times reached such a severe level of hatred for the piano. I resembled not the children with the natural love of the instrument who could practice eight hours a day without complaint. My parents did not permit me the freedom to halt my playing when I became bored and strained me to play at least two hours every day. How I desired to cease the practice of the piano and go play outside with the other kids! I became so wearied of the pieces I was playing that often I would kick the piano and smash and tear off the keys and cry like a little girl to vent my torment and anguish. Those black and white keys were my adversaries: how I desired to shatter those pieces of plastic and wood into tiny fragments so they were irreparable, and I would never have to play that cursed thing again in my life! Even from an early age, the feeling of nervousness has accompanied every important piano competition or performance. Chopin once wrote, "I am not fitted to give concerts. The public frightens me, I feel suffocated by its panting breath, paralyzed by its curious glance, mute before those unknown faces." I dread public performances, and I am always under heavy stress days before a major concert or recital. I constantly dread that I commit a significant error in the middle of a playing and embarrass myself in front of all the people. I moved to the United States at the age of eight, an event eight years ago that I still remember as clear as day. Pieces that I played no longer lingered in the territory of technical exercises, and I had roamed into the area of real music. Here is where the real differences between making music and simply playing notes occurred. Many people don't realize that there lies a lot more to simply playing the notes. Many can play the notes, but few can play it from the depths of their souls. This is accomplished by conveying emotions through music, escaping the usual dull playing that many people execute containing neither dynamics nor any melodic flow and without any thought put into the music. Claudio Arrau, an extraordinary classical pianist who practiced up to thirteen hours a day as a child, once said, "Interpretation is a synthesis of the world of the composer and the world of the interpreter." One of the unique aspects of making music is the ability to relate one's personal experiences to the music, and once you see a bridge connecting the spirit to the writings of the composer, you have accomplished what many cannot. Pianist Lhevinne commented on the wide majority of young pianist playing without any passion when he wrote, "Thousands of pianoforte recitals are given in the great music centres of the world by aspiring students every year. They play their Liszt Rhapsodies, often with most commendable accuracy, but with very little of the one great quality which the world wants and for which it holds its highest rewards - Beauty".I began to enjoy playing the piano after moving to the United States when I could play music that I liked, because I had developed enough of the technique needed to play advanced music well without enduring the hardships that I had overcome to develop basic technique. It's a poetic medium of expression to represent poetry, imagery emotion, sentiment and fancy, and I have come to realize the fine line between technical, mechanical playing and beautiful music making. People ask me how I could sit down and play for so long without being discouraged by the dullness of practice. I can only say that it is the love of the music and the being able to relate my personal experiences of hardship, happiness, and sadness into the music and to convey this message to audience.
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| Somber Euphoria | Login/Create an account | 31 Comments |
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